Sunny Skies

PRAISE THE LORD!  Better weather today!
I will update tonight about our day.   The next 3 days they celebrate the equivalent of Labor Day here...

A lot of Nothing

April 30, 2011

So this is what it feels like to do absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!! 

Vika came to our door at about 8:30 this morning.  Jason predicted that she would get here as soon as she possibly could, and he was right!  It is 6:15pm now on Saturday night  and she has been with us all day long.  It is cold and rainy here today so there was no hope to play outside.  We have literally been in our room all day reading, watching movies, playing games, and knitting (me!).  As bored as she must be…she hasn’t moved! Right now, as I type, Vika and Thomas are cuddled (Thomas calls is “scuddled”) on the couch together under a blanket watching Tooth Fairy.  I have the cutest picture of them but the internet is slower than dial up so posting it probably won’t happen for a few days.  Sergey told us that when people aren’t at work the speeds drop to the point it is almost unusable…that explains why all day yesterday we were fine until about 5pm when it became awful.  I will keep trying until I get this posted, but it may be tomorrow.

We are praying for nice weather tomorrow so we can get outside with the children.  Monday Jason is flying to France to work until Thursday (his company is based in France so he is going to be able to be productive while we wait for court).  Thomas and I will be here to play (Monday and Tuesday are holidays) with he kids then Sergey, Thomas, and I will work Wednesday to finish all of the paperwork and plead for court.

Not much else new except a lot of nothing.  I guess it is good for us to have a forced slow down every once and awhile!

We are thinking about all of you and missing home terribly.  We cannot wait to all be back!

Chernigivka and a NEW NAME!

April 29, 2011

We have spent all day with Vika and some of her friends – especially Natasha.  Thomas is in heaven and getting all of the attention a 4 year old can take.  We have eaten like kings (yes, in an orphanage!) and have really had a good day.  They haven’t sent Vika to classes (really at this point it is immaterial) so she has played games with all of us and her and her friends have played ball today a lot today.  I will post some pictures from our day today when (and if) the internet will speed up!

Paperwork:  We received the paperwork from the Director of the orphanage today.  He was beyond helpful in getting it completed quickly.  Sergey took Vika’s brother’s letter to the inspector today.  She faxed it to the inspector in the region where he and Vika were born.  Now we are waiting on the Mayor and a committee in that region to issue final approval (probably Tuesday), then we get to drive there next Wednesday and pick it up (yippee…more driving…more on this in the driving/roads section!).  After that, the file is put on the train (they pay the conductors to carry letters/mail addressed to a specific individual for a specific stop and it gets hand delivered the next morning) back to Kiev where SDA has to issue final approval.  In the meantime Sergey will get the court petition typed and start begging for a court date (seriously… he is begging!).  At this point, the earliest date we can hope for is 5/10.  This would be PERFECT because our tickets are issued home for the 11^th.  PRAY FOR THIS TO WORK OUT PLEASE!!!  When all is said we will have a 2-3 day delay due to the issue of her brother being required to sign and we have 3 holidays (5/2, 5/3, 5/9) between our arrival and court.  Yuck for delays!  I will say this…no one could be working harder for us than Sergey and he is also a delight and a class act!

Driving/Roads:  OK, they are NOT for the faint of heart.  I will tell you about the roads on the routes we have experienced.  So for recap, we flew into Kiev then took a regional airline to Zap.  From there we drove to Chernigivka.  The roads in Kiev are fine…you won’t do a lot of driving there anyway.  They are crowded and you will think you about to hit another car when you are squeezing through somewhere with another oncoming car, but the drivers there are better than NY cabbies.  Just close your eyes in the tight spots and you will be fine!  Now if you have Sergey and have a distance to drive with him, hang on!  He is a fantastic driver, but once he gets out of Zap to another area with open road he moves…up to 160km/hr (especially when passing…again, close your eyes).  The biggest issue for us was is close to Chernigivka.  About an hour outside of the village the roads are awful.  There is more pothole than road most of the time causing the car to swerve and weave (you are still going at fairly high speed).  Thomas is prone to carsickness.  He was asleep on the way to and out of Chernigivka yesterday so it was no problem.  Today he was not and he didn’t feel good at all for that portion of the drive.  But we made it!  Dramamine for him next time!!  All I can say is trust your driver, sit back, and relax!

Chernigivka:  is SMALL!  When we arrived yesterday some of the kids from the orphanage were out on the main street sweeping the streets and sidewalks for a couple of hours.  Some went out today as well for this.  It was a strange sight, I will say.  It really is a village…I believe you can walk the entire area.  It is warm here…between 21-27C (much like Kiev, maybe a tad warmer) and it is VERY windy here.  We are told this time of year it always is.  Pants and a light sweater are comfortable right now.  If it wasn’t windy short sleeves would be better.  The buildings are mostly block and, truly, none are in good repair.  I am going to say a little about the orphanage, but I want you to understand a frame of reference…it is as nice as other buildings we have seen or been in here…it is just that mostly everything we have seen is dirty (a huge hose wash-down is needed EVERYWHERE!) and fairly dilapidated.  Most places don’t look like they have ever been cleaned.  So when I say that I was a little surprised at the condition of the orphanage it is not meant to be negative towards the orphanage…most buildings are the same way.  So the standard here at Chernigivka appears to be as it is elsewhere.  I will tell you that the children have excellent caregivers and teachers here.  We have met most of them by now and most importantly the children seem as happy as I could imagine them to be in their situation.  I will also tell you (after eating 3 meals here now) that the food is GOOD!  As a matter of fact I am coming home with a few recipes (Vika may never want to eat these foods again, but Jason and I will!).  I can’t say enough about how well we are being treated.  Sergey laughed today that being the ‘guinea pigs’ for adoption at Chernigivka obviously has its bonuses – the obvious, being treated like royalty!  I don’t know if they will always go the lengths they have with us, but we have been humbled and blessed with amazing hospitality.  After spending time with Alex (Director) I cannot imagine him treating any family any other way!

WE HAVE A NAME!

We talked to Vika on the phone a couple of times about the opportunity she would have to select a new middle name.  For those of you not familiar with the culture here, it is customary that she would have her father’s name as her middle name. Once adopted the children typically like to keep their first names (though some change to American spellings), choose a new middle name, and take the new family name.  So for Vika this meant Viktoriya XXXXX Hair.  She asked us to come with 10 names from which she could choose.  I don’t know how many names we ended up giving her to choose from but she did not deviate from wanting the middle name Elizabeth.  So Elizabeth it is!  Viktoriya Elizabeth Hair…the newest (and last!) member of our family!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have certainly had some pain so far and we have had to do some things we wish we had never had to do.  But the blessings and lessons we have already learned out-weigh all of it.  I have seen the pain first hand that so many children face when they are left alone.  It will literally rip your heart out to watch.  It doesn’t matter if it is here in Ukraine or in Jasper, GA.  Children who are left alone are hurting.  They deal with things that I have not even had to deal with and it isn’t right or fair.  More families are needed to help these children and to give them hope.  I pray that more families are touched to reach out and help…that doesn’t mean that everyone can or should adopt…but you can help support another family (in so many ways) who is! 

Adoption is not for the faint of heart.  We learned that the first time around!  Both were/are hard for different reasons.  In Ukraine I have already gained more compassion for the plight of older children left without moms.  For those of you waiting to come to Chernigivka - please take heart, though, that the children are ok.  They will be HAPPIER when you are here, but they are OK now.  Do expect surprises when you come – they may be good or they be challenging.  I just pray that you have wonderful friends like we have had to remind us of the joy and benefits that can come from them if you allow it (thank you, Nanette and Melaney!).  Also if you have the chance to stay in the orphanage I would encourage you to overlook the structure, dirt, beds, etc and do it!  Before we even left home Melaney prayed that we would have this opportunity.  I didn’t think much about it at the time but when I called to tell her we were getting to stay her she said how great it was going to be to understand Vika’s world - the smells, sounds, noises, food, and everything that has been hers for the last four years.  She was right.  It will help me help her now that I understand her environment a little bit better.  (Thank you, Melaney…you are going to make the best mom!)

We have a restful, lazy weekend ahead of us.  We will play outside with the kids most of the day tomorrow.  Please pray that next week paperwork is processed expeditiously and pray for favor with the Judge.  We are also praying for all of you!!!

Jason, Alison, Thomas, and Vika Elizabeth

 

Our Days in Chernigivika

I am amazed with the Director here, Alex!!!  Sergey keeps telling us that being treated like kings (are that is what they are doing!) is uneard of in his 10 years of doing this.  He has given Jason, Thomas, and me an area with 2 small beds (we will make it work), a living room, bathroom, and kitchen.  I will say none of it is glamorous, by any means, but we are so comfortable here.  He was so kind to even give Sergey a room.  Then, he offered us 3 meals a day here...and they serve it to us!?!?!?!!!  And it is actually delicious - today potato soup, potatoes with gravy and meat, pickles, and pickled tomatoes!!  They are also just letting Vika stay with us the entire time.  When we got here (it was about 11:30 because we had to go to the Notary in Zap and then drive here) she was standing at the window waiting on us and had been since breakfast!!! 
It is so great just to be able to be here with her hanging out.  Thomas is beyond thrilled and will not let her out of his sight.  Finally...we can settle in as a family and wait on paperwork!

Joy and Tears

April 28, 2011

What a day.  We really had a great visit with Vika.  You could just see by the look on her face today how special she felt.  She was beyond thrilled to see Thomas and us as well.  She had a perpetual smile on her face today that I did not see the entire time she stayed with us over Christmas. 

I posted earlier about having to leave, unexpectedly, to drive 170km to meet with her 17.5 year old brother in person and ask him to please sign papers allowing her to be adopted.  The officials weren’t 100% sure where he was but they located him in a dormitory of a trade school.  It turns out that at 17.5 he is married with a baby, but at least working towards a future.  As we drove the same road we had driven earlier this morning with so much anticipation I was sitting in the back seat filled with dread.  I knew SDA mentioned this but they really didn’t feel that he would have to be involved since a younger brother had already been adopted to a foreign family without him or Vika having to sign papers.  So I was shocked when this was the reality today.  I wasn’t ready to leave Vika yet and I didn’t want to do this.  How awful is it that a 14 year old and now a 17.5 old are dealing with such adult issues?  We learned a lot at SDA on Tuesday about what they had already dealt with and I was so frustrated with the process and what it was doing to them. 

On the way there our facilitator said we should stop and buy some chocolates or something for him.  My only thought was, OK…we can do that but is that supposed to make all of this ok?  It seemed like such a strange gesture, but I decided he knows best.  When we got there we spoke to a woman at the desk and asked to see him.  It was just a big, open, public room in the bottom of a depressed, dark building where a lot of kids were trying to get and/or keep their lives on track.  I don’t know what I expected, but when he walked out it was like staring at Vika.  They look exactly alike.  He truly is a handsome boy.  He was very polite but quiet and took our chocolate.  Sergey, our facilitator, told him about us and we had taken a photo album.  We showed him those photos and the pictures we had just taken at the orphanage with Vika.  All he said was, “I will sign.  Please give me the paper.”  He had to write it twice…why, I am not sure.  Maybe he messed up the first version, but you could see this was very hard for him.  He was wiping tears away by the time he finished writing it twice.  Sergey had to take pictures of him signing (as proof that he did it on his own).  After that we asked could we please take a couple of pictures with him.  By this point I could barely look at him without breaking out in tears.  We all made it through the pictures (you can imagine how they look) and then he walked off with his chocolate.  He went to the woman who was at the door/check in.  He started crying.  She was very compassionate with him and he allowed her to comfort him and stroke his hair.  Sergey had us leave without saying anything else.  Of course at this point I am in tears and wanted to go to him.  I feel guilty that in some way we are taking her away.  We gave him every email and phone number and an address to reach her and he gave us his cell number.  It is my commitment and will be my passion to make sure that they stay in touch.  I also want to find their half-brother, Denis, who has already been adopted out of country. 

I know that he cannot take care of her.  I know that he has his own family.  I know that this is what Vika wants and what he wants for her.  But how sick is this that these two CHILDREN had to do this today?  It was unbearable to watch at the end.  I am so broken for what I am seeing here in Ukraine.  I knew I would not be the same person after being here…that is already true.  My heart breaks for this young man that was so honorable and stood up and did the right thing for her today.  As my friend, Melaney, said…he is the hero here today.  I only hope he knows it. 

Melaney, thank you for reminding me of this song a few days ago.  Who knew how much it would mean to me today…

You didn’t ask for this, nobody ever would

Caught in the middle of this dysfunction

It’s your sad reality

It’s your messed up family tree

And all you’re left with…all these questions

……

This is not your legacy

This is not your destiny

Yesterday does not define you

No, this is not your legacy

This is not your meant to be

I can break the chains that bind you…

I will post in the morning about the area, the orphanage, the roads (!!) and a lot more for families who will have the privilege of being here soon.  I am drained tonight and am going to crawl in bed with my two favorite boys in Ukraine (Thomas and Jason!!) and rest.  We have appointments tomorrow and will be back at the orphanage tomorrow.  We have decided to stay at Chernigivka so we are close to her and the kids.  Strangely, it seems like a place of comfort to us right now, even to Thomas.  He was so happy there!  Amazing how walls, buildings, things, and superficial comforts are meaningless when everything becomes so raw.  Amazing how kids bond and connect despite language and possessions.  It is not the greatest of accommodations, but it is where we want to be. 

            

Urgent Prayer Request

Early this morning…We are driving to Chernigivka.  Actually at the speed we going it feels more like flying(150-160 km/hr)

I am having a hard time describing how I feel.  I so want to see Vika and yet there is fear trying to creep in.  We have been told that her being the first to be adopted from there will be harder for her.  She hasn’t been able to watch others leave yet still be in touch with friends through phone calls, letters, or Skype.  She has nothing to compare this to.  I just cannot imagine how much this is to deal with at 14.  I have prayed all morning for her.  I know the deceiver would love to see her remain in darkness and without hope but I refuse to let him win her for good.  I know that the prayers of many are with us!

We had a wonderful first meeting with Vika!  We walked in and all of the kids were in line to eat and she came up behind me and gave me the biggest hug.  It was absolutely incredible!!  She was so proud…especially to have Thomas there.  She picked him up and showed him off to all of her friends.  I also cannot begin to tell you how wonderful Alex, the Director, is!  He was so gracious and wonderful to us.  He told us all about the orphanage.  He brought the psychologist in, and she is wonderful as well!!  The kids really do have fantastic caregivers (that we saw).  I will also tell you that the children were fascinated with us being there.  They CRAVED any attention we gave them and were all so polite and appreciative.  The inspector (govt officials in the region who govern adoptions) came in and had Vika write her letter and sign that she wants to be adopted.  There was no issue there, but we do have an issue…

The inspector’s office will not separate Vika from her 17.5 year old brother without him agreeing and signing a letter.  Our facilitator, Sergey, and the inspector spent all morning finding him.  When they did find him (his name is Sergei) he said he wasn’t sure he would sign and wasn’t sure he wanted her to go.  We also learned that he was with her at Chernigivka up about 1.5-2 years ago when he left to go to a trade school.  The Director told us he drank a lot and that he left the orphanage early.  He has a wife and daughter of his own already.  We are now driving back to Zaporzhzhya (where we just came from this morning!) to talk to Sergei in person.  I am posting this now because we really need your prayers.  Sergey (our facilitator) thinks we can convince him and Vika said to tell him this is what she wants.  Even if he signs there still has to be special committee convene to approve it and sign off that it is in her best interest.  So it will Sergey’s job to see if we can speed that up. 

So many prayers have been answered but we need your prayers more now than ever.  If Sergei won’t agree then nothing can happen for Vika, at least not until he is 18 and loses the right to control this decision for her.  Please pray that he will agree.  We are meeting him in about 20 minutes.  Beyond that, if he does agree, then we will need prayers that the committee will meet quickly so we aren’t delayed too long.  Thank you all in advance for the prayers.

For other Chernigivka families…Sergey said he has NEVER met a Director so wonderful.  Alex had lunch made for us (and it was WONDERFUL!) and he had us served with Vika in his office.  He wanted pictures taken with us and made us promise that he can always stay in touch with Vika.  I was able to deliver the presents to the other children that we brought for families back home.  We took pictures and I will send those to you privately tonight.  I hugged each of them and Sergey translated for me to EACH of them that you all love them and are working so hard to be there yourselves.   He explained that some files are processed faster than others and none of it is the fault of the families.  They all understood and said to tell you thank you and that they love you too. They are all so precious.  We have decided that after tonight we will stay at the orphanage.  This will give us a lot more time with the children and will give me more time to spend with your children as well.  Again, Sergey cannot get over how open Alex is being with us and the access he is allowing us to the kids.  Take peace and comfort in knowing that!

I want to share details about the area where Chernigivka is and the drive (ugh!) and the building and a lot more.  I promise I will do that tonight. 

 

Humor came at the end of the day...

April 27, 2011 – POST 3

Well…this has been an interesting day.  And to think I was worried I would really have nothing of interest to blog about!! 

We were very lazy and slept in this morning.  We did see some of Kyiv and then had to be at SDA to pick up our ‘Permission Papers’at 4pm.  After that we headed to the airport to catch our flight to Z.  The whole airport/flight thing was SOME experience!  First of all the domestic terminal was awful!  We both fly weekly for work and this ranked as the worst airport experience ever!  It was so hot and so crowded and was our first experience in Ukraine where people were very rude.  We found a sweet woman who helped us understand where to go and which gate was ours – thank you, God, for her.  She warned us not to expect much from the plane so on the bus out to the plane we were just praying for a decent, safe aircraft!  OH MY!!!  When we got to it we both looked at each other and said start praying!!!   As we boarded this very old looking prop plane Jason looked at me and said, “I try to make it a habit to not fly on a plane that is older than I am!”  I am not sure exactly how old it was but there was a table in the middle of it, it had curtains, an incredibly musty odor, and other items that neither of us has ever seen in our 40 years!  As we were taking off he looked at me and said, “It’s hot in here.  Can you roll the window down over there?”  I was not in the mood for his jokes!!  Thankfully Thomas fell asleep before we even took off and woke up once we landed.  I will just tell those of you waiting to travel to Chernigivka that if you aren’t all that ok with flying you may want to consider the overnight train!

We did meet a very nice man on the plane who is an attorney in Ukraine.  When he heard where we were going, he laughed and said, “Why?”  When we told him we were adopting he was kind and told us that if we needed anything to call him because he knew the officials in Chernigivka.  He was very gracious and helped us with bags and gave us his contact information.  In addition he was a great distraction for us on the flight!!!

So we met Sergey at the airport and started to the hotel where we will stay tonight.  It is about $50/night.  He proceeded to tell us that he knows nothing about the process of adopting in this area (which we knew) and he told us that we will be the first family to ever adopt from Chernigivka.  We knew we were the first host family to, but we assumed someone else had gone before us…this out to be interesting!

OK…so here is our humor for the night…you have to scroll down to the pictures below and see the lamps in our room at this hotel.  Guess how you flip them on and off?  Yep…you got it!!!!!!!!

Good night…please pray for INCREDIBLE speed with this process we will be starting tomorrow.  We will see Vika in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Also pray for her and that she has peace about her decision tomorrow.

Thanks to all of you for the support...and to you, Meleney, for being a GREAT immediate prayer warrior when I need it!!

SDA Appointment and News

Post 2 - April 26, 2011

Hallelujah for sleep!  Jason and Thomas were asleep last night very early.  I started out sleeping on the sofa (there is only one bed) but about midnight we all ended up in the same bed together.  I was right in the middle of my two men!!!!

We just returned from our SDA appointment.  Having previously completed one adoption this process seems so strange to me yet, in actuality, it makes more sense than Guatemala did.  We were downstairs at the SDA office at 9:45am waiting with Nastya, our coordinator.  They called us upstairs at exactly 10:00am.  We went into a very small office with Masha (sp?) and sat at a table (Masha couldn’t be more than 28 years old!).  Anyway, she pulled out Vika’s file and showed us the three pictures of her.  They were all so pitiful.  In one her head had just been shaven…looked like she was 9 or 10.  In the other two she was in clothes much too large for her - in one of these she was in a boy’s suit.  They went through her file and it was confirmed that she does have 2 older brothers and 2 younger ones.  This matches what Vika told us when she was with us.  One older brother is an adult and on his own.  One younger brother, Denis, is 5-6 and has been adopted by foreigners.  We hope to learn more while we are here about what country he lives in (maybe the US) and maybe one day we can find him.  The youngest brother is her half-brother and still with mom just as she said.  Some new information and, hopefully, not a complication…Sergei, her other older brother is 17 which means she has to be ‘separated’ from him before she can be adopted.  The inspector’s office (similar to a psychiatrist/social worker in the states) can do this with some extra paperwork and they obviously did this to allow Denis to be adopted, so we are hopeful that this is just a formality.  However, sometimes they can talk to the older sibling and require them to agree to allow their sibling leaving the country.  Typically this would only happen if they are in the same orphanage, and they are not…he is currently in a trade school somewhere in the country.  While it was a little surprising to us to learn this at the appointment I know that God is in control of this situation so I am choosing to not worry about this.  It breaks my heart for him and I am hoping to find a way for her to see Sergei before we leave the country. 

We were able to get the details of the court order terminating her mother’s rights.  My only comment about what we learned is that it was not exactly what I expected.  Vika’s story to us was correct…her father did die and her mother left her.  But after hearing more of the circumstances I can understand her very deep (negative) feelings about her mother.  I was sitting there just wanting to get to her and hug her.  I didn’t want to cry sitting in that office, but I certainly felt like it. 

We also received very conflicting medical reports about Vika.  One report states “healthy”, but another mentions a “chronic respiratory issue”, another mentions a “learning delay”, while another mentions a “heart issue”.  I will tell you that for a second I was sitting there saying to myself, “WHAT??”  Then The Spirit reminded me that it doesn’t matter.  This is our daughter.  There is nothing they have told us in that room that would matter.  So we declined an independent evaluation before making a decision.  There will be plenty of time to figure all of this out at home with the best medical care available, if she needs it.  In my soul I feel that she is basically as healthy as she could be in her situation.  I do believe they are right about one thing.  I believe she does have a “heart issue” – a broken heart issue but one that will be immediately treated with so much love and compassion!

As we were about to leave we were asked if we would like to see anymore files of other children.  Jason, who had been silent up to this point suddenly spoke with a firm NO!  Then he said to Nastya and Masha, “I mean this will make 5.  We can’t have anymore children.”  We all laughed!!!  He knows me too well…I would have sat there all afternoon looking at children if he (and they) would let me!

So we are free today and tomorrow.  We are headed out now to eat lunch and find somewhere outside for Thomas to play (there is NO grass here anywhere!!!).  Then we will stop by the store to buy food to cook our own meal this evening!  We love to cook, but I especially enjoy doing it in such a foreign place!  Tomorrow Nastya has a city tour lined up for us and then we go back to the SDA around 4 to pick up our ‘Permission Papers’ that allow us to travel to the Region for Vika.  We will fly there tomorrow night.  Plans now are to stay in a hotel in a small town about 30-40 mins away from the orphanage Wednesday night through the weekend.  We will get to be at the orphanage each day.  Next week, however, I will stay at the orphanage with Thomas while Jason makes a business trip to France.  Oleksandr, the orphanage Director, has invited us to stay there the entire time, but with all 3 of us here we will probably stay in the hotel for the first portion of our time there.  I had been praying that it would be a possibility to stay there with her and it looks like it will be!!!  I am so excited to be there with Vika and all of the other precious children I know we will meet!  Also Nastya said it appears that Oleksandr is really going to be quite flexible about allowing us private time with her for walks, etc. which a lot of the other orphanages don’t allow. 

We are so thankful for the prayers – we feel the support halfway around the world.  Please continue to pray for a speedy court date and no complications with her older brother.  Also, please pray for Vika and for any visits with family she has in these last few weeks.  I ask for wisdom as we help her handle this very difficult part of the process.

IN UKRAINE!!!

POST 1 – PART 1

We are on the plane.  I will save this and will post when we can get online again.

I cannot believe how quickly we have been given the opportunity to travel to bring Vika home.  It blows my mind to be able to think about completing an adoption in 4 months!!!!!!  How I wish Guatemala was like this!  Despite the stress of adoption and country uncertainty I am thankful to Tonya who made this happen.  We will forever be grateful! 

My mother-in-law was upset when we left.  I know it is hard on our family for us to be going to such an unknown place and for an undetermined period of time…but I also know that God called us on this journey and He will complete it.  We will be just fine!  We will be safe, protected and OK!

So far (30 mins in..haha) Thomas is fine! 

I am listening to Mercy Me, ‘Beautiful’.  The lyrics have touched me so much as we travel to bring Vika home.  Here are some of the lyrics:

 “And all you hear is you’re not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful.  You are made for so much more than all of this.  You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you are treasured, you are sacred, you are HIS!”

AND

You are the one he madly loves enough to die…You’re beautiful; you’re beautiful in His eyes

If I could tell her one thing right now, I would want to tell her how BEAUTIFUL she is…so beautiful that God loves her madly and died for her.  I would then tell her how beautiful we know she is and that I have and would move heaven and earth for her – that I will never stop – that our family will not be complete until she is home with us – and that I will never give up on her and that I will do everything I can for her!!!

I have to say that traveling on Easter has really been a blessing I didn’t expect (thank you friends for reminding me!).  It is a day about LIFE (eternal) AND HOPE. These are the desires we have for sweet Vika – a new life and hope of things she could probably never imagine!  I believe that God chose Vika to be our daughter.  He placed her a long way away (He does have a sense of humor!) but I believe that He has given her another chance to have a family.  Of course, our ultimate prayer is for her heart and her salvation, but one step at a time!

I cannot wait to see you Vika!!!!!!

POST 1 – PART 2

We made it to Kyiv!  We are situated in our apartment where we will be until Wednesday night when we fly to the Zaporizhzhya region where Vika is.  Then we will get to see Vika on Thursday!!  The second we landed n Ukraine that is all Thomas kept asking – “So we get to see Vika now?”  I wish it were that easy!

We landed to a little confusion.  Our ‘escort’ wasn’t at the airport to take us through passport control and customs.  We had a lot of time to make sure that he really wasn’t there because one of our bags also didn’t make…the one with the surprises for the kids and the one with the gifts we are carrying for other families.  HOWEVER…they found the bag but it is in Atlanta and is supposed to arrive here tomorrow afternoon.  Because we had to fill out the lost bag report we became intimately involved with customs – they have to sign off on the missing bag form, etc.  All that to say, they were really very nice and it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Thomas was good for about half of the trip to Amsterdam then he became pretty difficult.  Once we got off of the plane we went to the KLM lounge and he was able to settle down (we had a 5 hour layover).  About 20 minutes before we boarded the flight to Kyiv he fell asleep in the stroller and ended up sleeping through the entire next flight (about 3 hours).  He is fine now!  I know we will all sleep well and he also seems to have adjusted.

Our apartment is in one of the nicest parts of Kyiv.  It is nicer than I was expecting.  Right down the street is Chanel, Steve Madden, Aldo, Crocs store, etc….Also, the city is fascinating to me.  The section we are in is FULL of 20-somethings so there is a lot of activity – hanging out, dancing, etc.  It is the best people watching I have ever seen!  Today is a holiday here, so it was exceptionally busy.  We went to eat at a little restaurant around the corner and then went to the grocery for some fruit and other things.  We decided we will cook in tomorrow night…there is a fabulous farmers-type market on our block and the fruit, vegetables, and meat look amazing (we will skip all of the pickled fish!!!).   

Our SDA appointment is at 10am in the morning.  We have been told to expect to be there about 15 minutes.  After that we will sight see a little and see if Nastya has any recommendations, especially for an active 4 year old. 

We are all well and glad to have the travel here out of the way.  Please continue to pray for safety and good health for all of us.  Also, please pray for Vika this week.  This is a lot for a 14 year old to be handling!  We would also like to ask for prayers for a speedy court date.  That will be given after we all sign the papers Thursday (we hope) and they are processed.  We really need to get back as soon as we can.  We are still praying for all of you working on dossiers and waiting for appointments.

Alison, Jason, and Thomas

TODAY!

We are packed and going over final lists before a friend comes to pick us up at 2:30.  I cannot believe today is it...seems like it has all happened so quickly!
Jason hates traveling this far and with Thomas there too I hope the stress doesn't get too high! 
Our church prayed with us this morning before service was over.  It is wonderful to know how many prayer warriors we will have here at home.

PLEASE PRAY FOR:
1. Safe travel
2. Thomas - please pray that this next 24 hours is not too hard on him
3. Jason - that he will trust and not stress...our logistics are the clearest and he is as flexible as some (me!!)
4. Vika - for her heart, for peace and comfort
5. Everyone we will come in contact with this week...that they hearts be softened and that we find favor where needed
6. A FAST COURT DATE - we need to get home as soon as possible!

Love, hugs, kisses...until Ukraine!

A friend of mine sent us an email today that was beyond touching.  Among many things, it talked about something that 2 or 3 of you have mentioned to me on the phone or in messages.  This is the only part of her letter I will quote, but she stated it so well, I have to share it (hope you don't mind!!  :)))  ).  She is so right and we are so blessed! I love you, friend! 

"I think that it is so special that you are traveling and beginning this journey on Easter --- A time of re-birth and new-life!!!  A celebration of Hope fulfilled!  This is truly Easter for all of you and especially Vika!  Her life is forever changed and she is “re-born”!"

To God be the Glory - HAPPY EASTER to all of you.  And to you, my wonderful friend, thank you.  Your words will literally travel with me each day we are there!

48 Hours

How close!  It is hard to believe that we are this point, ready to travel, so quickly - but it is here!

I am on a plane now coming home from working in Boston this week.  I have SOOOO much to do tomorrow to be ready to leave Friday afternoon.  It will be BUSY BUSY BUSY at my house until we leave. 

I have precious little packages, notes, hugs, and kisses to carry to these sweet and deserving children.  I cannot wait to meet all of them waiting on their moms and dads and to take pictures to send back home.  I can't wait to post pictures and share what it is all like...we just want to be there!

Please pray for us as we prepare to travel...that I don't forget anything (MAINLY THE IMPORTANT THINGS!).  Also please pray for Thomas.  This will be a long 24 hours of travel for him at only 4!  Maybe while you are at it, pray for us too - for patience!!  :))))

I will post before we leave!  Thank you to each of you for the support and love we feel!

PS - I started a shutterfly site where we will post pictures from our journey (it is easier to post multiple pics there than on a blog!).  The address is http://bringingvikahome.shutterfly.com/  I will upload pics to albums every few days!

Home Stretch

What a whirlwind it has been since Vika came to stay with us over Christmas. 

A little history more history as we prepare to travel.  When we signed up to host Viktoriya our intention was not to adopt.  I was moved by the opportunity to give a child a Christmas and show a child the love of a God and a functional, Christian family over the holiday season.  I also thought it would be a great experience for our children to give back instead of the constant asking (as all kids do!!).   I won't say adoption hadn't crossed my mind but it was not the true intention, especially the closer it got to hosting time (I was busy with work and began to even question hosting).  Also she was older than any situation we had ever considered.  When our facilitator/home study coordinator came to do our safety visit at our house she asked (almost right away) if we planned to adopt Vika.  This was on Halloween afternoon.  Our collective answer was no, and we meant it - and I was explaining myself (?) for 30 minutes after she left!  But the answer was no. 

The first couple of weeks hosting were not easy - but name something worth having that is easy?  Jason asked me about every 2 nights, “So, where are we?  What are we doing?”  My answer, “Nothing has changed.”.  This was a really challenging experience for me.  I just felt inadequate despite how easy Vika made it.  I just didn’t think I was ready for a teenager.  God felt differently.  He had a plan.  He just had not informed us yet...

About 2.5 weeks into hosting I was tucking Meagan and Vika into bed and a conversation ensued (about her story) that led to Vika in tears, me in tears, and Meagan a little (the reserved 11 year old).  Meagan likes to listen to the Christian radio station when she falls asleep and there was a song on the radio that summed up exactly what was happening at that moment.  This evening will forever be special to me, as will that song (Stand By You by Carrie Underwood).  That was the night I knew…the night I knew she was our daughter.  The night I knew I would never let her go and I would fight like we did to bring Thomas home.

So here we are.  We are leaving Easter Sunday and will see Vika again on the 28^th, basically 3.5 months later.  We have called her each week on the same day, at about the same time to prove to her that we are reliable and can be trusted to do what we say we will do.  I have emailed, mailed cards, small packages, etc.  It comes down to seeing her one week from today on April 28^th again, and a decision for her. 

She is nervous about learning English.  I explained to her this week that it is my job to give her all the help she needs to do this.  I explained that I will be her mother and I am responsible for this ‘hard’ stuff going forward.  None of the details are anything she needs to worry about.  Reminder…all she knows is that she has been responsible for so long for so much.  No wonder she is scared and nervous!  And she has the 'family stuff' going on.  This is too much stress for a little girl...and she IS still a little girl!

I cannot wait to see her again.  I will be a little nervous, but I just want to start to rebuild the trust and begin the process of being her true Mother.  I want to relay to her and the other children there that there are so many people who care for them and love them and are praying for them daily.  I just want to hug her again, even though I know she will be quiet and stand-offish for a bit.  I can handle that as we help her re-adjust.  

God has a beautiful plan for Vika that she cannot even imagine right now.  There is a song by Mercy Me about being Beautiful…if only she knew how beautiful she ALREADY is in God’s image and ours!!!!!!!  That is now our job and with lots of love and care and prayers, hopefully she will realize this!

Please pray as we get everything ready to leave.  Please pray for Vika – for comfort, peace and that she remembers the joy she had when she was with us. 

I have a few friends in process who also need prayers.  God, you know their needs and hearts.  Please provide the answers they need!!!!!!!!!  And I thank God for these friends!

Rip my heart out...

I was able to speak with Vika today.  At first she was quiet and timid...even though she knows we are coming and said she wants to see us. She said she is nervous about coming and learning English...she was also nervous about leaving Ukraine.  One sad mom at this moment!

Nataliya was able to talk with her and understand what was going on.  After a little while we learned what we think is really bothering her.

Her grandmothter has been back in touch with her again and plans to keep her over an upcoming break ( 1 week+).  I will tell you that this makes me uneasy...first of all because that is when we are supposed to be there...don't they know?  Do they care?  And also...I am sorry...I will say it...why now?  Why the attention now?  I cannot be judgmental but so want this answer.  But also... she received a letter from her mother this week.  Her mother was asking to see her before she leaves the country.  Why now?  Again, I cannot understand it.

This will be one of my questions when I stand before my Lord (and BTW, the list is growing!!!!)

So...I know adoption is sooo hard!  But I also know that I will stand strong and do what I can to protect my child!  I will do what I have to do to help her.
Vika ultimately seemed excited to see all of us and for this process to happen.  I just do not want her dealing with adult issues when she is a child.

PRAYER
1. My heart is so heavy.  Travel plans now seem complicated to me.  But my FIRST concern is for Vika in these next 3-4 weeks.  PLEASE PRAY FOR HER!!!!
2. That travel will not be hindered due to holidays/breaks/issues with V's extended family - we have 3 other children and home and our employers to think about as well.  Please pray for swift travel.
3. For Vika's mom and grandmother and that they are at peace about Vika leaving Ukraine and will do WHAT IS BEST FOR HER.  I also pray for our hearts as we deal with this issue.
4. For the call we hope to have with her Director tomorrow.  He has been on vacation.

One week from today...

At this time in exactly ONE WEEK...we are off for Ukraine (5:20 Easter afternoon)!  I am so excited!  I did the shopping for most of what we need yesterday and will pick a few last things tomorrow.  I am really trying to pack lightly, but with a 4 year old, not so easily said!
The weather was beautiful here today and we found ourselves saying today that "When Vika is home we will need to get her a bike" or "When Vika is home...".  It is exciting to be saying those words!  I admit I am nervous about all that lies ahead, but I think that the time we will get to spend with her in her environment will be good.  I also just want to see her again so badly...our last memory was her walking away at the airport and it was awful.  I want good tears this time!
I look forward to talking with her Tuesday...and to be able to tell her that we will be there to SEE her on the 28th!  She knows this, but if I were in her shoes I would always wonder what could happen to change that.  Her Director also told us he wanted us to call when we were a week or so away from traveling.  He was on vacation last week so I hope I get to speak with him Tuesday.
I feel so blessed for everything in our lives...4 great, healthy kids...soon to be 5!  Our friends, our neighbors, work that we like and/or love, great family, a fabulous church, the weather today!  Just cannot wait to truly start the process of bringing my daughter home!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please pray for Vika this week and for us as we prepare all we need to travel.  I am usually not forgetful, but excitement is setting in!  Please continue to pray for the other families in this process.

Taking packages of love...

A few adoptive families have asked us to carry little things to their chidlren when we go next week.  I am so happy to be able to do this, but it reminds me of when I would send little clothes, or pictures, or knitted stuffed animals to Thomas in Guatemala via another family on their pick-up trip.  I was always so appreciative but I also know the heavy feeling in your heart when you are sending packages and not able to be there yourself.  It hurts...and right now my heart hurts for these families and for all caught up in the state of confusion that is Ukrainian adoptions right now. 

Please pray for these families and their waiting children.  These are not babies...these are children that know they are being adopted (many teenagers) and are having to wait.  There is no way this process makes sense to these kids when it doesn't to us, as adults!

Not much new to report except that all of our kids want their sister home. 

I was able to get our tickets purchased through Delta...we had some tickets to use so we really ended up with a good deal. 

I am typing this and so tired.  As I type this and wanting to complain I am reminded of the reality of these children.  Who in the world am I to complain? 

But I am human...I feel a little defeated, especially about the timeline we now face.  I know I am just tired tonight and God will rejuvenate me tomorrow.  I also am so concerned about my friends and their children and, at times, it is just a lot!

Prayer Requests:

ENERGY
PEACE
SOLUTIONS
COMFORT
HELP
THE REMINDER -WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN???

My Sister

Please pray that we can get Vika home in time before they shut down. I need my sister home!!!!!!
-Meagan

GOD...WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Lord...we need YOU to move mountains!!

We found out today that the agency to process adoptions in Ukraine (SDA) is shutting down all adoptions "temporarily."  We have been told that the shut down is to allow them to switch this function (adoptions) to the new ministry that will handle adoptions going forward.  We have been told they should re-open in 3 (4??) months.  We have been told that if you have an appt with SDA (which we do) we SHOULD be fine...but I have lived through one situation and another adoption (a little different but the same chaos) and I know that 'shoulds are coulds that would' so I rely on nothing until I see it with my own eyes.  They tell us that they will shut down on 6/1 or 6/13...

That being said...I am turning this over to my GOD.  I will also not sit by and say there is nothing I can do.  God gave me a will and brain and I do believe there are SOME things I can do and I will do each and every one of them until I can't 'do' anymore.  I will 1.) PRAY and I will 2.) FIGHT FOR MY DAUGHTER TO COME HOME!

Right now we are still planning to travel and leave on Easter afternoon.  Right now I am still planning to make two trips, but I am beginning to think I need to stay in country the entire time and make sure I am there on the ground in Ukraine advocating to the best of my ability for my daughter.  This will be a decision for my husband and me in the next few days.  It means a hardship to our existing family (and possibly my job) but priorities must be made and hard decisions made. 

We do have an appointment with SDA but I have many friends just days/a week/maybe a month behind us and they are in a situation with, maybe, less 'hope' than we have tonight.  May I please beg anyone reading this blog to:
1. Pray for the children caught in limbo (some are close to 'aging out')
2. Pray for the families with hopes dashed tonight and who are filled with worry and stress about their children and this process
3. Pray that we know, as a family, how best to handle our particular situation
4. Pray for the officials in Ukraine overseeing this process - that they may have their eyes opened to the need and that they feel compassion to move quickly to provide these children homes
5. Pray for the facilitators that are feeling stress and anger from families who need a sounding post and a place to vent.  They are our lifeline to our children and we rely on them.  I pray for wisdom and peace and rest for them.
6. MOSTLY...PLEASE PRAY FOR THE CHILDREN IN UKRAINE AND AROUND THE WORLD GOING TO BED WITH NO PARENTS TO TUCK THEM IN AND SAY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

I will post more tomorrow...

Trying to find humor....

So...the devil thought he could have fun with me today and try to steal my joy.  OK...maybe he did have a laugh or two...but I will get the last one!

We want to fly Delta because we have some unused tickets (money on Delta) that will help pay for our airfare on this trip.  They have not made it easy.  We fly a lot...so we know the routine, but I have LITERALLY spent about 5 hours today dealing with it.  I have to actually see a ticket agent Friday when I return to ATL Friday to get the tix (don't ask me??? something about it being an adoption fare).  UGH!!!!!!!!

On to better topics - we have had so many dear friends help us.  Anything from offering to drive us to the airport and pick us up (never thought of that expense!) to boarding for our dogs to donations...we are grateful and humbled.  We know God will provide all that we need and more.

More to tell about my conversation with Vika yesterday, but I will save that for tomorrow.  For today, Delta has worn me out!!!!!!!!

Tonight...I pray for Vicki and her family waiting on their SDA appointment.  Vicki, I just know it will be soon.  Hugs! 

(and pray for my mood after dealing with Delta tonight!!!)

12 days to go for travel- - 16 until we see Vika

We have been calling Vika each Tuesday to speak with her since she had to leave to go back to Ukraine on January 15th.  I called her this morning and I believe it is the first time that it became real for me that we actually going in less than 2 weeks!!!  I never dreamed or thought about going to Ukraine...now it is all I think about.  It is the most unlikely of places but that is where God placed our daughter.  But that is God...a blessing in the craziest of places if we will just look!

Vika knows we are coming and we have explained the process to her.  She knows we will make 2 trips and she sort of knows the timeline.  She always wants to know if Thomas is coming (we are chopped liver!!)!  I have been told there is a lot of "down time" in the waiting for a court date.  I am looking forward to that and am praying that God will use that time for us to learn more about her in her own environment.  I also pray that we will be a light while we are there.

I am excited to see my daughter again and to hug her and tell her I love her without being 5000+ miles away. 

I am trying to be specific in our prayer requests...the last post contains the general list but I will try to be more specific as I post.  Tonight I would pray that Vika knows how much we love her and that she has peace about leaving her country and all that she has known for so long.  I pray that our loving Father wraps His arms around her until the day we are allowed to bring her home for good. 

Love you, V....

SPECIFIC PRAYERS

Please pray for these specific prayer requests:

1. Please pray for Vika.  She knows we are trying to finalize her adoption but there is no way she can understand the issues involved. Pray for her safety, peace, comfort, and happiness.  Please also pray for all children waiting on forever families.

2. Pray for the process in Ukraine.  I just pray that whatever is going on, it doesn't impact these children.

3. Pray for our travel - that things move QUICKLY and we are processed as quickly as possible.  We are leaving 2 jobs, 3 children, 3 dogs, and other issues back home.  Please pray for speed in the process on our first trip.  God knows the importance of this.  Please just pray!

4. At this point we plan to take Thomas, who just turned 4.  Please pray for smooth travel and happiness for this little guy as he travels with us to see his sister again!  (And maybe for us too!!!)

5. Please pray for the remainder of my friends going through this same process.  They are all in different places and God, you know their needs.  I pray for each of them!  I love you all!

I am so honored to serve my most Holy God Who is in control of this process!
Alison

2 Weeks To Go

We received our SDA appointment last Monday.  Our appointment is 4/26 at 10am!  We are so excited.  The kids were home for spring break when we received the call so we were all able to call Vika and tell her.

Since then there has been an announcement (4/7) that the SDA (agency that processes adoptions in Ukraine) is being blended into another agency.  We have no idea what that means for us and our appointment - we hope it means nothing.  We are progressing as planned at this point.

In case you don't know our story...we hosted Vika over the holidays.  She is from Ukraine and she just turned 14.  We had no plans to adopt again...but God always has a plan, even when we don't.  The particulars of how we came to that decision are her story to share one day, but I can tell you that I was humbled in the process.  She is a sweet, loving, helpful child wanting a home.  She fell in love with our kids (maybe more than us!!!) and wants a family.  The five weeks she was with us were hard/easy/loving/challenging/rewarding/frustrating but all together worth it.  We love her and just want her home. 

We are the first family (from our hosting group) to adopt from her orphanage so I am committed to blogging so that the path is as smooth as possible for everyone else.  We are scheduled to leave Easter afternoon and have no idea when we will be home.  We pray for 2-3 weeks after.  We are planning to take Thomas, our youngest.  I cannot imagine leaving him for an undetermined period of time (Meagan, Garrett, and Emma will be staying with their mom until we return).  Jason and I both travel thousands of miles for work but this trip is different.  We are concerned about a lot but trying to see this as an adventure.

God's hand has been on this process from the beginning...from the day I heard about hosting...to the day I sent Vika's picture to Jason, to the day we brought her here, to the processing of our paperwork (and this has had HIS hand all over it!).  In this process I have met true friends that I know will be friends for life.  I have met women who have cried with me and prayed with me and for the children.  I am so thankful. 

We are anxious to go and see Vika again and, ultimately, to bring her home.  At this point we plan to leave Easter afternoon.  I will keep you all posted.