Home Stretch

What a whirlwind it has been since Vika came to stay with us over Christmas. 

A little history more history as we prepare to travel.  When we signed up to host Viktoriya our intention was not to adopt.  I was moved by the opportunity to give a child a Christmas and show a child the love of a God and a functional, Christian family over the holiday season.  I also thought it would be a great experience for our children to give back instead of the constant asking (as all kids do!!).   I won't say adoption hadn't crossed my mind but it was not the true intention, especially the closer it got to hosting time (I was busy with work and began to even question hosting).  Also she was older than any situation we had ever considered.  When our facilitator/home study coordinator came to do our safety visit at our house she asked (almost right away) if we planned to adopt Vika.  This was on Halloween afternoon.  Our collective answer was no, and we meant it - and I was explaining myself (?) for 30 minutes after she left!  But the answer was no. 

The first couple of weeks hosting were not easy - but name something worth having that is easy?  Jason asked me about every 2 nights, “So, where are we?  What are we doing?”  My answer, “Nothing has changed.”.  This was a really challenging experience for me.  I just felt inadequate despite how easy Vika made it.  I just didn’t think I was ready for a teenager.  God felt differently.  He had a plan.  He just had not informed us yet...

About 2.5 weeks into hosting I was tucking Meagan and Vika into bed and a conversation ensued (about her story) that led to Vika in tears, me in tears, and Meagan a little (the reserved 11 year old).  Meagan likes to listen to the Christian radio station when she falls asleep and there was a song on the radio that summed up exactly what was happening at that moment.  This evening will forever be special to me, as will that song (Stand By You by Carrie Underwood).  That was the night I knew…the night I knew she was our daughter.  The night I knew I would never let her go and I would fight like we did to bring Thomas home.

So here we are.  We are leaving Easter Sunday and will see Vika again on the 28^th, basically 3.5 months later.  We have called her each week on the same day, at about the same time to prove to her that we are reliable and can be trusted to do what we say we will do.  I have emailed, mailed cards, small packages, etc.  It comes down to seeing her one week from today on April 28^th again, and a decision for her. 

She is nervous about learning English.  I explained to her this week that it is my job to give her all the help she needs to do this.  I explained that I will be her mother and I am responsible for this ‘hard’ stuff going forward.  None of the details are anything she needs to worry about.  Reminder…all she knows is that she has been responsible for so long for so much.  No wonder she is scared and nervous!  And she has the 'family stuff' going on.  This is too much stress for a little girl...and she IS still a little girl!

I cannot wait to see her again.  I will be a little nervous, but I just want to start to rebuild the trust and begin the process of being her true Mother.  I want to relay to her and the other children there that there are so many people who care for them and love them and are praying for them daily.  I just want to hug her again, even though I know she will be quiet and stand-offish for a bit.  I can handle that as we help her re-adjust.  

God has a beautiful plan for Vika that she cannot even imagine right now.  There is a song by Mercy Me about being Beautiful…if only she knew how beautiful she ALREADY is in God’s image and ours!!!!!!!  That is now our job and with lots of love and care and prayers, hopefully she will realize this!

Please pray as we get everything ready to leave.  Please pray for Vika – for comfort, peace and that she remembers the joy she had when she was with us. 

I have a few friends in process who also need prayers.  God, you know their needs and hearts.  Please provide the answers they need!!!!!!!!!  And I thank God for these friends!