Yesterday I spoke with Vika. She was happy on the phone and more engaging then she has ever been. She asked about me and my health (?) and then Jason, Thomas and the kids. I was so glad to hear her interested and happy. She was so cute. Then....she told me that her grandmother was there and the Director was allowing her to go to her hometown to see all of her family for a fairly long period of time.
I was really not ok with this and haven't been ok with it for the last day. I know it is healthy for goodbyes and can be good but I just am not ok with it. Call me crazy, selfish, whatever...but it bothers me. Where have they been for so long? I know many may question my feelings... but I am being honest. It is hard. I write this at the risk of sounding wrong....but I am so bothered. She is legally our daughter and had I stayed and not come home for the 10+ days this wouldn't have happened. It has worn on me yesterday and today. We called Sergei and our facilitator and they feel it is under control...she is still going (and gone) with her family but we asked that she be back on Sunday night. That is what they have said will happen. I am just kicking myself for not staying. I thought that I needed to be home this 10 days/week whatever the officials in Ukraine want to label it as...but truth be known I just want to be back and bring my daughter home.
Adoption is not easy. When it looks like 'it' has a nice bow on it and all is done, it may not be. You may just be getting ready for a curveball! It is hard. I am walking in faith until I get there! I can only do that! Right or not...it is out of my control. What is in our control is to go and make a difference to all of these kids. Melaney and I have lots of fun planned and LOTS of toys to take. We cannot wait to be there and love on these kids if only for the afternoon! The airlines may have made it hard...but we are on a mission!
We have lots of packages to take for families...we also have toys for EVERY child! I can't wait to get Vika and then to plan the next trip...the next trip to help more kids and bring more hope. This one will be so great thanks to Melaney, her friends, our church, and others who have helped us carry a small offering to these kids. I will leave you with this...If you scroll down and look at the picture of Vika and Thomas playing with other children with their hands under our door you will get what I am about to say....there was a little boy...Igor....who just kept saying "I want a toy." If you were there and heard that you would know why this is so important. They are EACH important. These kids at this orphanage are so special and so wonderful. Please pray for them and pray for the short time Melaney and I will have with them. I hope when we leave that they know how special and loved they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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